I wish I could support the La Leche League. Thanks to them, boobs became not just about sex, and breastfeeding was rescued from something distasteful and icky, becoming the right of mothers and babies. I breastfed my own babies until they were over a year old, and I was grateful to live in a time and place where that was OK.
But when does breastfeeding advocacy go too far? Sure, there are public health arguments in favour of breastfeeding - but when formula is prepared with sanitary water and according to instructions, is it so much better than breastmilk that it justifies heaping feelings of inadequacy on mums who can't or choose not to breastfeed? Those serene pictures of breastfeeding mothers and babies, and books with titles like The womanly art of breastfeeding, misrepresent the busy and messy reality of the average mum's life. I've never yet seen a promotional photo of a stressed looking, sleep-deprived mother breastfeeding with one arm, and trying to prevent a toddler from pulling the cat's tail off with the other arm. Even sentimental sepia can't make some elements of motherhood look glamorous.
But today, La Leche managed to irk me in a whole new way. Piri Weepu, to his credit, has filmed an anti-smoking ad, which follows him about his smoke-free home caring for his two little daughters. The ad featured footage of Weepu bottle-feeding his daughter - until it was cut, after lobbying by La Leche, because it would give women the wrong message about breastfeeding. (You can be sure women will make the right choice only by giving them one option.)
Talk about looking at the hole instead of the doughnut. Here was Weepu - national icon and male role model - proudly taking part in childcare, and lending his voice on a key health issue affecting kids. La Leche shot him down for taking part in the feeding of his own baby - a baby who, at six months old, can now be bottle-fed even by World Health Organisation guidelines.
Here's the thing: if men are to take part in feeding, they need bottles. To insist on breastfeeding only is to say that women bear all the responsibility for feeding. If you believe men have a role in this critical, intimate part of childrearing that builds the child/parent bond, then you need to get a little bit pragmatic about bottle vs boob.
Own goal, La Leche.
I don't think I tell you often enough how much I love your blog, Anna. I saw this news article today and really could only repeat WTF (except in full, and with variant emphases) over and over again. How easily swayed and lacking in critical reason does the La Leche League think women are? ARRGH. Made me so mad I am back to random expletives.
ReplyDeleteThanks Gen! I've been pondering this a bit further, and I've realised that one of the things bothering me is that insisting on breastfeeding, even when a child is six months old, is basically arguing for curtailed workforce participation for women. For those who have to work and whose work is inflexible (eg heaps of low paid workers) it sends a message that their parenting sucks from the get-go. How does that make these women receptive to public health messages? I'm not seeing the female empowerment message there, and I don't think a lot of other women are either.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! And the objections were so simplistic, too. The thing that irritated me most (I think), is that bottle feeding does not automatically equal formula feeding. Women CAN - and if they are able to do so, dedicated to breastfeeding, and want to work or have time away from their children as infants for any other reason at all - express milk, which is then bottle fed to the children. Why assume Piri (who is, to my great surprise, because I am not very interested in rugby, totally my celebrity boyfriend, which is why I get to call him 'Piri') was feeding formula anyway? Not that he's poisoning and depriving his daughter if he does formula-feed anyway - but bottle-feeding and breastfeeding aren't mutually exclusive and can look much the same.
ReplyDeleteAs a postscript: my husband was was amused to note that yesterday, as Piri was being interviewed as 'Maori of the Year' on the news, his partner was sitting next him bottle-feeding their daughter.
You could do far worse for a celebrity boyfriend, I must say. According to tonight's coverage, the wee girl is bottlefed because of an allergy - not that they should have had to make that public, but they've found themselves in a position of having to defend their feeding decisions. There's something faintly crappy about seeing legitimate parenting experiences like managing an allergy written out of the script like that, even if in the service of a public health message. I'd be more tolerant of it if the child was under six months old - a 'greater good' argument would hold more water.
ReplyDeleteAccording to this opinion piece by a friend of mine -- http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/blogs/pg-parental-guidance-advised/6373194/Parenting-is-more-than-a-feeding-choice -- the "kerfuffle" was stirred up by the Herald article: La Leche were consulted for feedback on the ad by its makers, and provided it as requested. Their view, according to my friend, was that it was not necessary to show him bottle-feeding as other scenes in the ad clearly got the message across that he was a loving father who was actively involved in caring for his child. No big deal, until the Herald made a controversy where there hadn't been one, apparently in a cynical bid to generate more headlines.
ReplyDeleteYes, the Herald's motives sucked. They usually do. But it's worth thinking about what definition of benefits and harm LLL were using when they thought that a man helping feed his kids was detrimental to the public good. You've got to have a fairly exaggerated belief in the potency of breastmilk to think that way - particularly when the child in question is outside the age bracket in which breastfeeding is recommended. 'Benefit' extends further than the marginal nutritional superiority of breastmilk over formula. It takes into account family dynamics, dads being involved with their children, sharing domestic tasks equitably and enabling mums to be in the workforce.
ReplyDeletePoint of order: Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended for 6 months (that means only breastmilk and prescribed medicines) with continued breastfeeding in addition to complementary foods recommended up to two years and beyond (World Health Organisation). And no the recommendation does not just apply to third world countries.
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